Tag: emotional abuse
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Circle Game
I almost never do this; write a post that I intend to publish immediately without worrying and overthinking about how to frame my thoughts. Nothing but a cursory edit. My dreams are sad and dark lately. Sad for my younger self as I navigate parenting my now adult child. I am sitting in a waiting room…
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The Little Train of Thought That Couldn’t Stop Itself…
Or, Fuck Motivation Feb. 1, 2025 Today I attended a music recital in which the child of my boyfriend was performing. About halfway through I started to cry, which shocked and embarrassed me. I am not one to cry, or express any emotion, really, if I can help it. Fighting emotions requires a ton of…
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I am a Gaslighting Hypocrite – On Politics
Jan 26, 2025 I feel like a horrible person who has been gaslighting a minority. I have spent the past few years trying to reassure my transgender child, who is now an adult, that just because people vote conservative for fiscal reasons it doesn’t mean that they agree with the social agenda put forth by…
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Throwdown: Acceptance vs. Hope
Tuesday, September 15, 2024 Ahh, the massive interrobang of hope. The working title of this post has been “Fuck Hope” for quite some time, but I’m trying to be less sweary. Hope is supposed to be positive, something you turn to in moments of darkness and despair to get you through, but I have often…
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Hypocrisy: Calling Myself Out
May 25, 2024 I am sitting in a family counseling appointment with my child who uses the pronoun “it”, holding my breath and dreading the expected onslaught of rage and resentment that often comes my way during these meetings. I am so done with therapy; I have been in personal counseling off and on for…
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On Quitting Self-Blame
On Quitting Self-Blame February 24, 2024 The first time I went to therapy after my child was born, it was because my then husband Garrett told me that there was something wrong with me and I needed to fix myself. He said this while he was having his first affair (which he would not admit…
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Family is Complicated (and the birds go tweet…)
Family is Complicated (and the birds go tweet…) Monday, February 19, 2024 AKA Family Day In the “About” section of this blog, (https://interrobangmehardbaby.blog/about/) I say that I will cover the broad strokes of my life, including complicated family and friendship dynamics. So far I have avoided the topic of family and complicated friendships, except for…
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Valentine’s Day Interrobang (not as dirty as it sounds…)
Valentine’s Day Interrobang (not as dirty as it sounds…) February 13, 2013 “I can’t wait to see what you have planned for tomorrow night!” says my husband excitedly from across the room. We’re both putting away laundry and tidying our bedroom before bed. My blood runs cold and I feel like I am losing my…
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My Truman Show, Vol. III
My Truman Show, Vol. III August 2023 “Mom I’m going to tell you something and I need you not to freak the fuck out.” Cold rush of panic punches hard in my gut and chest. We’re driving through the woods, leaving the camp that my (now adult) child has been at for the past five…
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What Goes Around…
What Goes Around… February 2010 Rage. I am feeling intense, roiling, nauseating rage but I can not show it. If I show an ounce of emotion I will be labelled a hysterical mom and no one will take me seriously. “Yeah, things are fine. It doesn’t really affect our lives at all.“ Rage. My husband…
Interrobang Me Hard, Baby 