Tag: suicide
-
Circle Game
I almost never do this; write a post that I intend to publish immediately without worrying and overthinking about how to frame my thoughts. Nothing but a cursory edit. My dreams are sad and dark lately. Sad for my younger self as I navigate parenting my now adult child. I am sitting in a waiting room…
-
The Little Train of Thought That Couldn’t Stop Itself…
Or, Fuck Motivation Feb. 1, 2025 Today I attended a music recital in which the child of my boyfriend was performing. About halfway through I started to cry, which shocked and embarrassed me. I am not one to cry, or express any emotion, really, if I can help it. Fighting emotions requires a ton of…
-
2025!
January 5, 2025 I haven’t written a post in so long… Life exploded, as it is wont to do. I wish that I could write about how life exploded, but I am trying to “Mary Karr” my way through by not writing about things when they are too raw. A good memoir is written when…
-
Throwdown: Acceptance vs. Hope
Tuesday, September 15, 2024 Ahh, the massive interrobang of hope. The working title of this post has been “Fuck Hope” for quite some time, but I’m trying to be less sweary. Hope is supposed to be positive, something you turn to in moments of darkness and despair to get you through, but I have often…
-
Beauty and Terror
Sunday, October 13, 2024 Below is the draft of a piece on gratitude that I was composing, complete with the working title “Fuck Gratitude”. The point forms were to be the general outline. There have been many interrobang moments for me around gratitude, when advice meant to help me actually harmed me. I have recently…
-
Hypocrisy: Calling Myself Out
May 25, 2024 I am sitting in a family counseling appointment with my child who uses the pronoun “it”, holding my breath and dreading the expected onslaught of rage and resentment that often comes my way during these meetings. I am so done with therapy; I have been in personal counseling off and on for…
-
The Summer of 70 Books
Monday, March 25, 2024 The Summer of 70 Books During the summer of 2021, my mental health had declined to the point that I finally realized that I was severely suicidal and needed to go on some meds. One of the things I was doing to avoid facing how I was really feeling was to…
-
Gaslighting Myself
Gaslighting Myself I began writing this piece a couple of years ago now, when I was feeling frustrated that I was starting EMDR and still in counselling for issues I had been working on in therapy for almost two decades. Being a chronic overthinker, counselling can be a double edged sword for me. In my…
-
On Quitting Self-Blame
On Quitting Self-Blame February 24, 2024 The first time I went to therapy after my child was born, it was because my then husband Garrett told me that there was something wrong with me and I needed to fix myself. He said this while he was having his first affair (which he would not admit…
-
On Puberty Blockers
On Puberty Blockers February 2024 “At face value I don’t see a problem with waiting for kids to be age of majority for major surgery or drug treatments.” After Ruby came out as trans, I had a few friends and family who were curious and wanted to know my perspective on many issues. I appreciate…
Interrobang Me Hard, Baby 